As told by Keni Michelle

“Oh no he didn’t!”  If only he could see my face right now.

But he had, and he always does.

I have to admit, with this one, I have broken my own rules.  I think it may be the fact that I can bounce a quarter off his behind or his passing resemblance to my favorite singer.

Allow me to introduce my broke ass non-boyfriend!

We met on some dating website. We met at the train station near his house for our first date.  I was struck by his ease of jumping into my car and asking for a hug.  No visible signs of uneasiness.  Just a wide smile revealing my weakness, a full set of pearly white teeth.  We head off to walk a nature trail near the shoreline.  I took pictures of the city across the water and breath in deep refreshing of salty sea air.  I felt relaxed and rejuvenated with budding excitement for a new man in my life.  Our first kiss was on a tower overlooking the bay.  Sweet and perfect with no tongue.

He was so charming and relaxed.  My ride into work started with a text, “Good Morning” and few pleasant texts throughout the day.  Eventually, the texts got a bit more risqué.  I wasn’t opposed because he’s pretty hot.

We begun spending a lot of time with one another.  But he was so guarded.  The simple questions  often went unanswered.  I didn’t question.  I figured he was someone I would have to earn trust from.

As our relationship became more physical, I discovered he had a penchant for being dominant. And I was into it. I mean, it was something I wasn’t used to. I never let go. I never give up control.

I had the broke version of Christian Grey.  Hey, I wasn’t going to get fancy things, but I was up for a different experience.

Unfortunately, I soon discovered his dominance wasn’t only about the bedroom.  He was dominant about everything.  What we did. How we did it. And finally, he started to believe that I owe him for his “services”.  Or at least that’s how I interpreted it.

But when this fool asked me for a new iPhone, I begun to question whether he was crazy or I had given him too much already.

With every dating experience, there is a lesson. Mr. 50 Shades of Broke is just that.  Not only financially, but emotionally.  Expecting that a relationship that is purely physical to pay off is the thought of a broken person.